future-husband

You’re seeing this guy. And you can’t tell if he’s the one or just a waste of your time, aka an asshole. We’re here to help:

1. Your future husband brings out the best in you. An asshole brings out the crazy, stalker bitch in you.

2. Your future husband values commitment and partnership. An asshole is just trying to hang out.

3. Your future husband sees your success as his success. An asshole needs to take you down a notch.

4. Your future husband thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. An asshole’s eyes keep wandering.

5. Your future husband makes you feel secure. An asshole makes you want to check his phone.

6. Your future husband prioritizes your happiness. An asshole prioritizes his own happiness.

7. Your future husband enjoys conversation with you. An asshole just wants you to be quiet.

8. Your future husband makes plans with you in advance. An asshole always pops up out of nowhere the same day.

9. Your future husband creates a feeling of forward momentum in the relationship. An asshole wants to keep things exactly as they are.

10. Your future husband makes it clear he’s into you. An asshole keeps you wondering.

11. Your future husband makes you feel chased. An asshole is someone you’re always struggling to pin down.

12. Your future husband consistently reaches out to you. An asshole goes radio silent for days.

13. Your future husband texts you just to check in. An asshole texts you when he wants something.

14. Your future husband asks about you and your life. An asshole couldn’t care less.

15. Your future husband is great in real life. An asshole looks good only on paper, if that.

16. Your future husband treats you like a priority. An asshole makes you feel like a backup plan.

17. Your future husband does nice little things for you, just because. An asshole doesn’t.

18. Your future husband wants to show you off to his friends and family. An asshole hides you from them.